he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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