i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
