if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
