YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
