I am in a vortex of obligation.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
