he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
