we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm at about main and main street
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
