We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
