I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
