Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
