I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
