I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
