Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
