new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
