The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
