im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
