on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
