So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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