the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
