Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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