If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
