So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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