last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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