Welp...herpes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
