You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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