well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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