Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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