yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
