you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
