allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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