so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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