OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
