dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
