There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
