conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
