dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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