once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Randomize