I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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