I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
