what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
