Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
