I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
