My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
