If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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