Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
