dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
