This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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