i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
