honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
