Just cropdusted the office
well you can't waste a boner
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
