With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
