1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
