don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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