Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
